Talking Elmo doll threatens murder

Today's filing for the Department of Little Talking Tina: a plush Elmo doll in Tampa has started threatening murder.

With a squeeze of its fuzzy belly, the Sesame Street character now says, in a sing-song voice, "Kill James."

It's neat the way that could be an imperative ("Kill James now, please!") or an expression of intention uttered in infantile English ("wanna kill James").  James is the name of the child in question.  Yes, James, your favorite cuddly toy is talking about killing you, over and over again.

There's an extra twist involving the toy's child:

About an hour after she put new [batteries] in, "I noticed exactly what it was saying," [mother Melissa] Bowman said. "And my son was repeating exactly what it was saying."

Reporters Peter Bernard and Ray Reyes must have enjoyed writing this article, offering great passages like this:

Bowman said Elmo is James' favorite character. James even has Elmo slippers, but the malfunctioning, death-threat-spouting Elmo Knows Your Name doll is now being kept away from her son...

Isn't "Elmo Knows Your Name" a sinister name for a toy?  Yes, that's the actual name of the thing.

The story occurs in Florida, of course.

We at Infocult know all about demonic toys.  There's a homicidal Elmo story from 2006.  If you feel revengeful, consider these two accounts of tortured Elmos (Elmii?).  Or if you feel wistful, sing along with Jonathan Coulton.  Branching out from Elmo, consider making a toy doppelganger for your child, child robots for parent "training", or a child's toy hitting the Iraqi insurgent big time.

(thanks to LibraryBob!)

Comments

[Ceredwyn Alexander]

Lots of traumatized kids out there...

[Gardner]

Perfect final still. Talky Tina indeed....