Good news: fracking is fairly unlikely to unleash underground demons.
Roy Hobbs, an engineer with Shell, said: "By my calculations the Shadow Lord Cthulhu currently rests nine leagues deeper than the shale gas so I'm sure it'll be fine.
"Nevertheless, we have some of the best hooded, eyeless priests in the industry who will be on call 24 hours a day to maintain the sanctity of the work site through a series of incantations and holy artefacts, as well as checking for hard hats and security passes."
This lets us reinterpret some events in recent ecological history very nicely indeed:
residents of other shale gas sites are suing over fracking side-effects including earthquakes, exploding tap water and 120ft long tentacles pulling their house into the netherworld.
One Pennsylvania family were admitted to hospital after an unexplained outbreak of screaming succubae attached to their faces, which lawyers blamed on a nearby wind farm.
(thanks to Ed "Clean Cthulhu" Webb)