Classic Onion satire with Gothic flair: "New Study Too Frightening To Release" .
"I beg the forgiveness of God for unleashing this hellish study upon humanity," added [Dr. Desmond Oerter, head of the Stanford team], dropping to his knees. "I am death, destroyer of worlds." Oerter then produced a pair of ballpoint pens and plunged them into his eye sockets.
[T]he heads of numerous Stanford departments, including physics, molecular biology, TV & media studies, religious studies and economics, "cannot be accounted for at this time."
In addition to the missing department heads, two of the study's coordinators have taken their own lives, and three more remain on 24-hour suicide watch at an area hospital. Of the approximately 35 individuals involved in conducting the study, only a handful of junior research assistants and student volunteers retain their sanity.
1999, and it's still excellent. Read the whole thing.
(thanks to Clyde)