The Great Clown Panic of 2016 seems to be intensifying. Let's gather up the latest incidents.
Three people robbed a Dayton, Ohio store, one wearing a clown mask.
Another Michigan robbery involves someone wearing a clown mask.
More clown sightings in New York, including this paradigmatic one:
[A]uthorities in Wayne say a female caller reported a person wearing clown mask or clown makeup around 9:30 p.m. Wednesday.
The woman said she spotted a suspicious man staring at her from the woods with his hands in his pockets wearing what she believed looks like a clown mask.
The incident happened on Willowbrook Boulevard near office buildings and a technical school in what is mostly an industrial area.
Police responded and found nothing.
A clown allegedly mock-threatened a Maine woman, who responded by showing a gun.
Non-robbery- and stalking-inclined clowns are responding by complaining to the press. Some are even organizing a Clown Lives Matter march, scheduled for next weekend.
Finally the story enters political satire, as a conservative site offers a satirical piece about the march.
"Everyone took this as a joke but it's really become serious now, and I just want all these teenagers to know that it's not a game anymore," Jones told Fox 43. "You're ruining my job and other actors around the world."
Jones works at Screamland Farms in Frederick, Md., and told the TV station that his family is afraid for his safety due to profiling in response to the frequent clown sightings.
On the other side of the country, a group of clowns plan to take to the streets next weekend in order to show people that they mean no harm.
A Clown Lives Matter march is planned for 6:30 p.m. Oct. 15 in Tucson, Ariz., according to the ABC affiliate there.
The goal is to show people that professional clowns are not actually trying to kill them.
Along with satire, there are also stories generated by spoof news sites, which then enter urban legend territory. Snopes has a bunch, like this one:
Following the scare of random clowns appearing at night and threatening lives, congress has passed a new law in an attempt to put a stop to the madness.
Anyone who is caught wearing a clown mask publicly can be charged $50,000 and be jailed for a maximum of 1 year. Authorities are calling these masked individuals “terrorists”.
“We don’t know where they come from or what they want” said president Barack Obama, “but they have to be stopped”. Even on Halloween, clown costumes and masks will be prohibited from public wear. “I don’t care who you are, if you’re wearing a clown mask, your going to jail and will be fined. Even if you’re Donald Trump, we don’t care, we will taser you and arrest you”, said NYPD police officer Jan Hughes.
and this one.
Let's end on a song, shall we?