Here's your real-like Gothic headline of the day:
"The Fiery Underground Oil Pit Eating L.A."
Even better is the text tag that follows:
Formless and ancient things from the depths of our planet move beneath Los Angeles, unexpectedly setting fire to sidewalks and burning whole businesses to the ground.
This splendidly Gothic language is aimed at the body of petroleum slopping under the city of the angels. Or:
Sliding around beneath the surface of Los Angeles is something dark, primordial, and without form. It seeps up into the city from below, through even the smallest cracks and drains. Infernal, it can cause fires and explosions; toxic, it can debilitate, poison, and kill.
The article really enjoys itself.
The city ‘is really just a giant scab of petroleum-fueled activities,’ an impermanently sealed cap atop this buried monstrosity.
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