Infocult: Uncanny Informatics

More pits break through Siberia

"No one knows what is happening in these craters at the moment"

Last year we noticed that mysterious holes were punching through Siberia.  That trend has continued in 2015, and expanded.

[R]esearchers fear there are more craters than anyone knew — and the repercussions could be huge. Russian scientists have now spotted a total of seven craters, five of which are in the Yamal Peninsula. Two of those holes have since turned into lakes.

And one giant crater is rimmed by a ring of at least 20 mini-craters, the Siberian Times reported. Dozens more Siberian craters are likely still out there, said Moscow scientist Vasily Bogoyavlensky of the Oil and Gas Research Institute, calling for an “urgent” investigation.

There's a primal mystery to these holes, something uncanny in their sudden abysses.

We can also see these as more incursions in the war the Earth is waging on humankind.  After all,

One potential disaster relates to the explosions themselves. No one has been hurt in any of the blasts, but given the size of some of the craters, it’s fair to say the methane bursts are huge. Researchers are nervous about even studying them. Who knows when a methane geyser will shoot off again?

A foretaste of things to come: "One of the methane bursts has already caught fire. Nearby residents in a town called Antipayuta say they recently saw a bright flash in the distance."

Closer.... closer...

We may soon face the age of human head transplants

In today's mad science story, one surgical team claims to be within striking distance of achieving human head transplants.  2017 is named as a possible date.  

What's involved?  Well:

First, the recipient’s head would have to be cooled to keep the cells alive, as would the recently deceased donor. Next, the neck is cut into and the blood vessels are hooked up by a series of small tubes. After the spinal cords are neatly severed, the head is then moved onto the donor body, which is ready for the trickiest and most crucial part: joining up the ends of the spinal cords.

One intriguing angle:

Alongside the ethical considerations of such a surgery, some have expressed concerns that it could lead to people wanting to exchange their bodies for cosmetic reasons, so obviously if it does become legalized, strict regulations will have to be in place.

(thanks to Mark Vickers; photo by Mick Amato)

Today's disturbing clown story

Kansas police recovered a lost clown automaton, discovering it in the abandoned home of a convicted pedophile.

There is much to appreciate in this Kansas Gothic tale.  Starting with the clown-bot itself, beaming at you:

Then the clown-bot with the police detective;

There's video of this presentation:

 

You may also enjoy this photo of one of the clown-bot questers posing with abandoned carnival rides:

Item: a great observation by the clown-stealing pedophile:

"I have a pretty good passion for him, " Mayes said of the clown in 2008. "It's really pretty upsetting." 

Item: fun with social media - “I can’t undervalue Facebook postings,” Kite said. “It is amazing what people will say – unknowingly or unwittingly.” 

(thanks to Clyde)

Wisconsin Slenderman trip update

Jezebel has an update on the Wisconsin Slenderman story.

On Tuesday, a private investigator for the defense testified that he'd found drawings of the Slender Man in Geyser's bedroom, along with the Barbies, marked with an X inside a circle. The investigator also found a "supply list" in Geyser's room, with the items listed including "pepper spray," "weapons," "camera" and "will to live." Amid the drawings of Slender Man were anguished-sounding phrases: "He still sees you," "Help me escape my mind," and "He cannot be harmed." There was also reportedly a drawing of a girl lying on the ground next to the words "I love killing people."

(thanks to Thomas Burkdall)

Creepy Kickstarter

Cool Baby may be the most unsettling Kickstarter campaign of 2015.  

It's "[a]n expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby. Drinking in public is now adorable."

Rewards include, for example,

THE ALMOST-PREEMIE (you're still early): You get a Cool Baby. It's a real baby. Minus the biology. Plus an insulated place for your drink. Multiplied by the use of both of your hands. For infinity. Estimated delivery: Aug 2015

Watch the video for the full effect.

(thanks to Peter Naegele!)

Random observations about cannibalism

Vox shamelessly begs for links with this story about cannibalism, and there's enough meat on those bones for Infocult can play along.  It's a stew of random ingredients, and you can pick out the morsels you prefer without much shame or kuru.

Here's one hors d'oeuvre:

In 2013, archaeologists revealed they'd found evidence of cannibalism in colonial Jamestown — an indication of just how desperate early colonial life had been. Specifically, they discovered markings on the skull of a 14-year-old girl that strongly indicated she'd been eaten by settlers during the particularly difficult winter of 1609.

A dark red star grazed the solar system 70,000 years ago

70,000 years ago a dim red star passed through the outer edges of our solar system, according to University of Rochester astronomers.  Scholz's star entered the distant Oort Cloud, mingled with comets, then left for deep space.

What a sublime, Gothic tale this is!  Start with the visual:

Such a gloomy sight.  Note that Scholz' is really two stars:

The star is part of a binary star system: a low-mass red dwarf star (with mass about 8% that of the Sun) and a “brown dwarf” companion (with mass about 6% that of the Sun). Brown dwarfs are considered “failed stars;” their masses are too low to fuse hydrogen in their cores like a “star,” but they are still much more massive than gas giant planets like Jupiter.

This connects with various Gothic stories.  Did the nomadic pair nudge Yuggoth, or deposit that planet with us?  Can we imagine a strange life form voyaging with this binary, gazing towards Sol and seeing the early days of humanity?  Perhaps they visited.

The astronomers add one more disturbing idea to their account:

While the close flyby of Scholz’s star likely had little impact on the Oort Cloud, Mamajek points out that “other dynamically important Oort Cloud perturbers may be lurking among nearby stars.”

Paging Niven and Pournelle.

To close:

I have whirled with the earth at the dawning,
When the sky was a vaporous flame;
I have seen the dark universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim,
Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.

-"Nemesis," H. P. Lovecraft

"Computer Girl": early creepy digital song

"Computer Girl" is a 1960s song by Sparks.  It offers some nicely disturbing vibes for fearsome digital media.

Read the opening lines, while listening to this 1969 recording:

Computer girl
My computer girl
(this is a recording)

She's got no arms
got no legs
For computers have no limbs
(this is a recording)

Very unsettling body language, especially in a song that might have seemed a love song at first.  Note this female voice "This is a recording" as a kind of chorus.

There's more:

Body language becomes violent: 

At first she did not work right
At first she did not function
I took a hammer
I took some nails
I went hammer hammer hammer
Rat tat tat
Fix fix fix
My computer girl
My computer girl
(this is a recording)

Is that a glimpse of earlier computer history, or just psychotic violence?

The song moves back to the 1960s for the rest, repeating versions of this:

Well if you like a date with her
Stick an IBM card in her stomach

Back to love, terror, and a reorganized body.

Here's a clip from a documentary, apparently.

(thanks and a punch card to keen-eared Jason K)

CNN wants you to fear the end of the world

Screenshot from CNN:

ISIS end game: Apocalypse

More prosaically:

ISIS believes we are living in the end times

(via the most excellent United States Department of Fear)

Handling death on Facebook

Facebook announced a way for users to deal with their death through social media.  Facebook users can designate someone as a web executor, "a family member or friend who can manage their account when they pass away."

the legacy contact will be able to:

Write a post to display at the top of the memorialized Timeline (for example, to announce a memorial service or share a special message)

Respond to new friend requests from family members and friends who were not yet connected on Facebook

Update the profile picture and cover photo 

 

Users can also complete a Memorialization Request.

(thanks to saramin and  Todd Bryant)